Goodbye my dream part 11

I was already awake but at the same time not, everything around me sounded muted and my vision was as if my eyes were closed. Yet I knew they were open, surely open when I closed them again to check how darkness looked like.

Everything was either grey, black or white like in those old pictures you see in history class, I heaved my hand without feeling the motion at all and stared at it, turning it in different directions to see no colour at all.

“How weird…”, I muttered at least I thought I did, but I couldn’t even hear my own voice properly, it sounded like I was underwater while the place around was surely land.

I sat on one of the cold metal rods that stretched out vertically through the park and hoped for an explanation this time. A proper one at least that wouldn’t confuse me at all.

“Even here people talk all confusing”, my muttering was a bit better audible but still had a weird sound unlike my usual perception of my own voice.

“They are complex… you never can fathom what they are thinking about you… but sometimes it’s a bit clearer”, out of nowhere as if he just appeared a delicate figure was sitting next to me holding a handheld in his hands and not facing me, his hair fell forward almost obscuring my sight of his face. He wore a uniform that I didn’t see yet.

Where did he come from and why didn’t I see him in the first place, I was looking the whole time…

“You are probably irritated that I just suddenly appeared here… “, with one swift motion he brushed some strands of his hair behind his ear, glanced over and continued his eager button fight.

“….”, I didn’t say anything back since my voice seemed not audible at all and when I tried it just sounded like bubbles.

“It’s your consciousness”, he added out of nowhere.

“My… consciousness? But I am looking”, my voice suddenly choked and turned into bubbles.

He gave me a long stare with his golden eyes and I remembered the cat from a dream long ago.

“No, you thought you were looking… “, he stared back on his display, “but there is a difference between looking and observing, And it seems like you are not aware enough of what is happening around you…”, as he pushed a sequence of buttons the park turned upside down while we were still sitting on the metal rod, I didn’t have to use my legs to not fall it was as if gravity was working the way I wanted it yet my hair was moving like it was falling.

I focussed my senses on my voice and closed my eyes, “did you do that with your buttons?”

“… I suppose you would think that, but the buttons are merely a guideline… it did because it was my will”, his hair was upside down as well, revealing the beautiful features of his petite face.


“Uh…”, he looked up, or down depending on how one could view the perspective now as he contemplated something, “… in games… it’s something like a hint”, but he didn’t seem satisfied with his choice of words.

“or… cheat codes… maybe that is a better fit of the world you and I are currently occupying”, he finished his mutter with a satisfied 

“I am able to do that as well?”, I muttered facing him now and opened my eyes, focusing on my voice.

“…”, he took some time to think about my question.

“How does the world look for you?”, he stared at the former bottom of the park.

I followed his gaze and all I could see was still grey, black and white no colors at all.

“It’s monochrome, I do not see colours.”

“Are you sure that applies to everything?”, that question threw me into confusion, I was sure that I didn’t see any colors but started to ponder.

Wait a second the moment I met his gaze I was sure that I thought his eyes were golden,

When I looked back he was back at playing his game and I wanted to touch him in order to see his eyes but then the usual fear overcame me.

‘you are working on the wrong footing.’

‘you are not aware enough…’

My usual process seemed to be wrong according to them.

I should try to touch him, if he can turn this world upside down then-

This time I focussed all my senses into the movement of my hand as I poked his cheek and he turned around in surprise widening his eyes, as he stared down at my index-finger still touching his face.

Not only were his eyes golden like I noticed before, but he himself shifted into a much more bright palette of colors.

Due to his flinch after I touched him, a pair of cat ears and a tail appeared.

“Huh?”, I muttered surprised.

Gently he pulled my sleeve and removed my index-finger. His ears turned a bit side-ways resembling airplane wings.

He seems flustered…

“This is due to your perception of me as a person. I look the way you imagine me to be… “, he stared at his tail wagging, “which means my reaction to your sudden touch made you think I resemble a cat”, he sighed.

That happened just because I thought that unconsciously?

“And why does it look monochrome then, and only you look bright and colorful?”, I asked him excited.

He took a while before answering and stood up.

“I cannot answer all your questions… somehow… but in this world the way you view me and the way I view you… and everything around. It’s connected… “, he now fixed his gaze on me without blinking at all.

It’s a bit scary…

That thought made me fall all of a sudden, falling into the sky that was below me and seeing Kenma’s figure become smaller and smaller.

I couldn’t stop the sky that suddenly turned into a crimson red as I felt like I was slowly dissolving.

This time it’s the other way around?

“I am sure… the more you observe the closer you will draw to your answer… just like you ultimately remember everyone’s name at the end…”



-Kenma Kozume-

@_01ki_ on instagram

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