Art by @a-zebra-was-here on twitter
There must be something wrong here, something is not as it should be.
After slapping Bokuto on the back I made sure to leave a self-serving grin on my face as I quickly retracted and moved towards a place that was hopefully far away from those two.
Okay, first of all, who the hell are these sparrows? And why are they so hard to beat apparently? Nobody mentioned such a high stakes game, not even the coach.
After getting into the A-team, shouldn’t I know what I was up against?
Yeah, I’m the prime setter obviously but why do I feel like this is leading up to something?
And secondly, what the hell is wrong with my body?
A hot wave crashed over myself right after the feeling of blistering cold, and a sweat broke out on my forehead.
Soon enough my hands started to shiver and a sickening feeling crawled all over me.
I basically ran through the hallways, my head tucked in so no one would see this pathetic display as I turned to find my dorm room.
Wanting to barge in I pressed the knob but the door didn’t budge, leaving me to headbutt into it.
“ARGH, DAMN FR-“, I mumbled the rest of the swear words and fumbled for my keys as I rattled on the door.
No response, but he was probably sleeping or listening to music or some shit.
My shivering hands were unable to unlock the door before another wave of nausea hit me and I groaned to keep everything down.
Why is this happening?
My cycle isn’t due for a couple of weeks!
Finally, the door opened and I stumbled into the room to desperately search for a free sink or toilet in the bathroom.
As if the sight of the washroom triggered my nausea again, I held the frame of the toilet and heaved my lunch into it.
Until there was nothing left to bring up.
My nostrils flared up as I had a feigned scent of Caramel in my nose, now distorted by whatever I just puked up and I fell back onto the cold tile.
My voice sounds pathetic.
“Samu! M’pukin here can ya help me out?”
Where is that idiot? Normally he’s always there when I’m sick like this….
I sighed and quickly rinsed everything away as well as chucking back some glasses of water on my now empty stomach.
What happened to me?
I remembered the feeling of nausea coming up when I saw Bo and Caramel girl canoodling.
The mental image of him picking her up and her giggling though it all sent another chill up my back, which was already hard to play down as I stood there.
I didn’t even know she was imprinted.
It just slipped out, I didn’t even know why I was so pressed to ask about it.
But my gut kept screaming at me to do something, was it instinct?
When they pressed their faces together my whole body felt like convulsing, I knew I had to get outta there.
Slowly I walked to my bed which I know realised was neatly tucked in by my idiot brother.
Still he was nowhere to be found.
I could feel a tug in my chest.
Where are you Samu?
The evening dawned.
“Thanks for helping me with these Osamu”
I merely nodded as I held the heavy package full of books in my hands and the beta quickly walked next to me.
Her eyes were quite unfocused and only held contact with mine for a moment before moving somewhere else.
By now I knew that it was a general habit and had nothing to do with me, but that she had problems looking people into the eyes for a longer amount of time when she was anxious.
Which was, as I noted, almost all the time.
But everytime I caught her in the library with the rest of the staff or even the beta lounge like today she was a lot more relaxed.
“Is yer dorm close to ours?”, I asked and she nodded.
“Mikoto’s is closer, but I think mine is just down the hall as well. Again thanks for carrying those books. I totally forgot I had to relabel them so soon”.
“Its fine”, I replied curtly because the load was getting harder and harder to carry when I didn’t concentrate.
“Sorry”, she mumbled but smiled immediately after.
“No, I mean it ya would-”
I stopped and Asami stopped right at me with a questioning look, “Are you okay?”, she asked me.
Why is the dorm open?
I could’ve sworn I locked it before leaving.
“M’sure I locked my door”, I mumbled.
“Really? But the door is completely open?”, she walked a little closer to peer into the room but quickly held her hand over her nose in disgust.
Before I could ask what happened I recognized a very familiar stale smoke wafting out of the dorm.
I didn’t know if it was my twin-senses tingling or my nose picking up the bad atmosphere but Ilet the box almost drop to the floor and rushed into the room without running.
Asami stood outside but followed me quickly as I entered the room, only to encounter a dark room with a figure crumpled up in a bed.
“Go- a-way”, the voice was dripping with disdain and the resentment could be felt from a mile away probably.
What’s wrong with him?
“Are ya okay? Hey scrub-”
I noticed his breath was laboured and he sucked in the few breaths he would inhale.
I turned around but before I could say anything I already noticed the beta starting to rub her wrists together to spread her scent. Quickly enough, a steady cloud of rosewater infiltarted my nose and I sniffed out of instinct.
Like it was supposed to be for a beta, the fragrance had an immediate calming effect and I caught Astumu breathing out shakily while his own scent dissipated more and more into something that resembled his normal scent.
“Atsumu? Are you better now?”, Asami asked with her voice being a bit shaky as well, and I remembered when she told me that even though she was a beta, other alphas intimidate her quickly.
The room was filled with only rosewater now, I couldn’t even pick up my own scent and it did wonders. My mind felt almost hazy and I walked towards Atsumu to try and get him up.
With a quick motion, he hoisted himself up, sat there for a moment and with a grunt stood up and left before either I or Asami could say anything.
But his expression was enough to let him go.
I knew my brother, and I knew whenever he felt too much pride to talk to me.
What an idiot.
That’s what that was, right?
Should I maybe have said more?
No way, this is Atsumu we’re talking about.
I shook my head quickly before I turned to see Asami still hovering closer to the door.
Her eyes looked a bit far off, but darted quickly from one corner of the room to the other as if she was contemplating on saying something but waiting for my approval.
“Yeah?”, I had only realised that my voice was a little too raspy a couple of seconds after I used it, and I felt a twinge of shame creep up my back at it.
A beta’s scent is no joke when it comes to calming an alpha, but no matter how many times I’ve experienced it, it still didn’t sit right with me.
The fact that there’s biological functions out there in everybody that could be used to quickly shut enhance and escalate a situation or completely shut someone down completely.
It’s almost restrictive.
“Hm, well uh”, she started off only to sigh and stand up from where she was crouching.
The pheromones still had me a little dazed, and the fact that Asami still hasn’t started talking irritated me a bit.
“Just say it”, I said with a deadpan, only to conceal the fact that I didn’t quite like the effect all of this had on me.
“I’m sorry but, are you okay? You seem tense, I didn’t want to well uh-”
“S’fine, sorry m’still a bit”, my hands gestured into the air to maybe make some sense to all of what was happening in my head. Also to make her feel a little less bad, as the guilt immediately settled in after my irritation.
She exhaled with a smile and pressed her lips together tightly before starting again.
“I usually am the last person to use my scent so quickly. I like to ask first, but I don’t know your brother and thought it was urgent. If I had known you’re uncomfortable with it I would’ve at least got you to leave the room before I scent marked everything and I- I really didn’t want to hurt you in any way I just thought”, as if she realized herself that I couldn’t quite keep up with the flurry of words that escaped her mouth she stopped just as quickly and started to play with her fingers, “Sorry I talk very fast sometimes”.
Somehow I could only scoff, and I was kind of confused as to how someone could switch from quiet to fast with almost no bridge in between.
“Yer fine. I get ya tried to help my brother. I just don’t like being influenced by others much”
“I can tell”, she almost giggled.
Instead of saying anything she just vaguely motioned around me.
I scrunched my face together.
“Uh, how do I explain?”, without thinking much she just sat down on Atsumu’s bed before quickly gasping and standing up again, “well I can kind of sense it?”
“Is that a beta thing?”
She nodded, “it’s not really “seeing” but every person has a scent pattern. I can almost detect how you pheromones act around you. Those patterns say even more about your mental and emotional state than your scent could.”
Another jab into my privacy.
She had no part in it of course, I knew that she probably learned to sense others more clearly to assess situations and de-escalate them as she just now did, but the fact that there is another thing others can see about me that I would like to keep hidden?
Made my skin crawl.
“So mine changed?”
Shocked and embarrassed the beta looked away, as if she knew that she looked into something she shouldn’t have.
“Sorry it’s a habit. I do it almost subconsciously.”
“Okay, so what about mine?”
“You want me to tell you?”
I nodded, “that’s why you asked if I was okay right? If you know my state up here”, he pushed his index finger against his head,”then I want to at least have some intel how you got that. And you can sit there”, I motioned to the other bed while I sat down on my own.
While still fidgeting with her hands, she slowly sat down on the far edge of the bed before she started to explain.
“Your scent pattern is very close to your body. It’s almost clinging to yourself. Even though your pheromones are strong, your pattern is kinda like shy?”
I tilted my head to the side and kept listening.
“I personally call those patterns ‘liners’ because they outline your whole body and are very stagnant.”
A smile crept up her eyes but she shot it down quickly as she followed her explanation, “when you stormed in and after Atsumu left there were little glitches in your outline. Like spikes almost. That with your scent getting stuffy told me, you’re well… anxious? About your brother I think?”
I nodded and let my head hang low while my arms were propped up on my thighs.
“Are you okay?”, she whispered.
“What does my scent pattern say?”I questioned back and she pursed her lips to look at me.
“It’s calmer now. Still a bit less idle now.”
“Then I’m fine”, I sighed, “what about my idiot brother?”
There it was again, a far off look in her eyes as she spoke, “His pattern is, the one time I was him, actually a bit more extreme than yours.”
Of course it is.
“It starts at his torso and wafts off of him in waves, like ripples in a lake when you throw a stone in it. When I saw him on the bed well…”
I moved towards her and shifted my weight a bit more toward the beta.
“It was like internalized. Almost blocked. Like a bundle of smoke around his chest. That’s unusual for a ‘ripple’ like him”.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe I was very wrong.
How is it that I know all of this from a beta that’s almost a stranger?
I should know my brother!
Only I should.
Or maybe Ma.
“Okay”, I stood up and looked at the door, “I’ll go search for him. Don’t worry”.
“Alright, tell me if you ever need any help okay?”
I probably won’t.
“Will do”, and with that we awkwardly shuffled out of the room and I started to walk in the direction of the campus cafeteria. He might be there.
She waved quickly and stood in the hall watching me leave.
Off to get this problem-child.