Art by @nanaboodraws on twitter
I sighed out for maybe the third time in the last couple of minutes.
Okay, maybe it’s been more than three sighs.
“Bokuto, ya can do this come one now”, I patted his back but he flinched away from me.
What is wrong with this guy?
I know what eccentric means, but come on!
A quick glance at our coach told me enough, practice was almost over but he was definitely checking out how I reacted in this situation.
I contorted my face into a smile and approached the spiker slowly again.
“Come on Bo, yer such a good player you’ll get that cross shot next time!”
To my utmost delight, he turned farther from me and just left the court to get a stray ball from the floor and walk towards the other end of the net.
I don’t have time for this.
When people told me Bokuto was good, I didn’t think that he was a maintenance job. Spikers should get my sets, end of story.
I could basically hear my brother’s voice ring in my head.
“Not everyone is always in top shape like ya!”
It’s normal I guess to feel emotional sometimes, heck I am often affected by my own emotions in game.
But that’s just annoying.
Would it have been the same with those other players? I guess Oikawa would have played setter on this team, but I’m pretty sure that guy could throw a mean spike in.
Would be tragic if he couldn’t.
Iwaizumi was perfect to set to.
This is the first time I have hoped to have Samu back in volleyball since highschool.
I ignored the pang in my chest and started to walk in Bokuto’s direction, but before I could do anything a high pitcher whistle tore through the hall and practice was over.
Everything after that kind of felt like a blur.
I did notice a couple of small things my way though.
The coach’s disappointed look.
The setter that I threw out as I entered the stadium.
What was his name?
A black stain on my shoes.
Forgetting fresh socks so I had to keep my sweat drenched ones on.
Great second day of practice.
The weight of my gym bag on my left shoulder felt very grounding, the dull resonance of my feet on the carpeted hallway felt foreign but comfortable at the same time, and I almost walked past my brother and our dorm room if I hadn’t come to that realization that he stood there before.
I stood, and as I looked at that idiot the whole events of the last 24 hours played back again.
Dizziness spread in my head.
“Was lookin for ya”
His voice sounded distant.
Not as in distant emotionally on his side, but actually distant. As I’d there were cotton balls in my ears not letting his voice through.
Now his voice was crystal clear, and the ringing in my ears screamed at me to tell him to quiet down.
But he’s talking normally right?
“I heard ya scrub”, as much as I hoped for my voice to sound normal, there was definitely a crack in it.
There it was.
In my brother’s eyes swam something so disgusting, I could feel it reverberating in my bones.
And with concern came something else.
“Where did ya sleep?”
“None of yer business”, I shot back and tried to pry myself between him and the door, but he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back.
“No I mean it Tsumu, where were ya? I tried finding ya yesterday after Asami was here. You left and didn’t come back at night. I had to lie to Ma that ya was sleeping”.
“M’fine, just didnt wanna see ya stupid butt after that dip moment”.
He relaxed, Samu relaxed and that was good.
That means he’s letting me off the hook.
“When I didn’t find ya, Asami asked about yer”, he waved around in the air, “mental state”.
Another emotion crept up and sat next to the others.
“For fu-“, I caught my insult as it almost left my mouth, “M’fine Samu. Tell the jittery beta I was havin’ pre rut symptoms or whatever”.
Who cares anyway.
Things like that happen. I just had a small meltdown.
The dreadful thought that this could be anything else that my cycle or a mild panic attack was making my stomach turn, but what else would it be?
“Stop with the names. She was actually worried for ya”.
“Cool, tell her to send me ‘get well’ card”, I retorted sarcastically.
“Gave her ya number”.
Everything skidded to a halt.
“Ya heard me. She’s in the beta committee, knows all the nurses and counselors. She was worried and kept askin, and yer a pain so”, he threw his hands up, “Ya smelled like shit, ya puked and went away and didnt tell me. I have no time right now, I have classes, so reply to her texts”.
And with that he left, still a bit of pity dancing in his gaze.
I didn’t know what was worse.
The fact that I got to pry away that jittery beta now, or that he actually assumed I might be wrong in the head, or the icing on top of it all:
That he just left for a class.
What is wrong with him?!
After getting to my senses I kicked open the door and waltzed to my bed.
My cellphone stayed where I left it for practice, and as I picked it up I actually had a notification from an unknown number.
“Hi, sorry for texting you like this. You’re brother gave me your number. Can I ask you some questions? I’m worried even though I may not know you all that well”, her message was a tad too robotic, as if she tried to write and rewrite it again and again.
Quickly my fingers typed in a quick reply and I threw the phone back on the bed.
Okay that settle-
“Are you sure you’re fine?”, I read aloud to myself and flopped down onto the bed.
How quick was that?
“Yes I’m fine you little”, I groaned but typed in a kinder message.
A second later another reply came in.
She didn’t believe me huh?
This was gonna be harder than I thought.
Something in me asked a question that I had to squash as quickly as it came up.
‘What if she’s right?’
A flash of burning sugar rippled through my nostrils and I gasped in shock.
What in the actual?
My phone buzzed again.
Maybe it was better to take care of it now than never?
For the sake of playing.
I sighed again, nausea bubbling up in my stomach before I hit the green call button.